Patience & Confidence in Time

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Hello everyone! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. 

I want to start off by saying that whoever knows me a little better will be aware of the fact that I am anything but patient. Patience - yes, my mom will give me a nod of assent - has never been a strength of mine. If I want something, I want it now. Like, right now. However, give me some credit, as throughout the past especially 2 and a half years or so I have learned that life just simply doesn’t always give you right away what you wish for. This time span might have been the best, yet partially also the hardest time in my life, specifically right now. This is due to the fact that a lot of things are in limbo (with my application for permanent residency, for instance), there’s things that I need to take care of and all that stuff won’t happen over night. I know that. But my mind obviously wants something else. 

Let’s just say that all this is a test of my patience. It’s hard. And you know what’s even harder? Knowing I will not be able to attend one of my best friends’ wedding back home in Germany next weekend. I know how disappointed she is and how I am probably even more disappointed as until last week, I still had my hopes high that I would potentially be able to fly out east, after more than a year and a half. But this won’t happen and it’s just something I have to accept, even though it does certainly hurt. 

Well, and this is all because of a currently non-existent time frame, hence no opportunity to make any plans beyond next week at the moment, because of all the formal processes and waiting times and whatnot when you try to build your lives together here in the U.S. - as a couple with different nationalities. The funny thing is, though, that I am not even mad and completely understand. It’s just frustrating when you don’t know anything, yet everything can potentially change within a day. 

It is what it is. 

PATIENCE. I keep saying this word over and over again in my mind today, like a mantra.

Funnily enough, Rickey and I went to church this morning and the topic that came up: patience. You got to be kidding me?! But you know what, things apparently happen for a reason and here we were, listening to our pastor talking about having patience in life, about trusting in time, the process that comes with it, and, eventually, the wonderful fruits all this patience will bear. 

This is what I needed. I sat there and listened, letting it all sink in. It made sense. It’s all about accepting that some things aren’t sorted out yet; it’s about accepting that the process will, after all, bring the desired results; it’s about trusting in time; and it’s about trusting that when you are patient, take one step at a time, things will work out, one way or another. Having confidence in time - time has, now that I think back, brought so many good things eventually. Even though things seem dreadful and annoying and whatnot in a particular moment, in the end we have to realize that they were part of the process, testing our patience, and eventually coming together as a whole and making sense, as we see the fruits of our efforts.

Apparently, it’s not only Rickey who tells me that all the time. 

Patience - and I should be alright. More so: This will bring me more inner peace and strength to face what’s coming next. Whatever the second half of this year has in store for me, for Rickey and I, for us.

I think I needed to write all this down to actually process and understand that only with patience and trust in time I can calm myself down, live happily and have faith that at some point, I, we will see the fruits of what we are putting in and are working for.  

By no means will I be the most patient person after today, hell no, but thinking about everything I just wrote down and listened to today helps me put things into perspective - and I am thankful for that. 

Are you a patient person? Is it your strength or rather weakness, like mine?