Creative Life - Redefined
Hello lovely people!
(Currently writing this at 5 am in the morning, my son is making funny noises in his sleep, and my head is hanging over a big mug of coffee. Frantically trying to get this post done before little milk monster wakes up. #workingmom super powers released…how am I even still functioning?)
It’s been a while. As you might know based on my last brief post, I’ve been starting to write a new chapter for myself and my family, and it involves a tiny, needy little human that currently requires all the attention (and will do so, for years to come).
Both Rickey and I have been taking the month of November off to dedicate our time to our little precious son Karl. When my husband went back to work on Monday he said: “It’s been a long month.”
This made me tear up.
It’s been a long month, yet, it hasn’t.
On the one hand, this month might have just been the craziest of our lives with beginning to recover from the birth, adjusting to life as a new family of three (although it will still take time for me to actually understand what that means for us), and trying to somehow function throughout the day as my mind is constantly foggy from sleep deprivation. Because, you know, they say babies keep up their schedule when they are born; and little man certainly likes to be active at night. Fingers crossed this changes at some point.
But it mostly made me tear up because of the fact that Rickey had to go back to work and this was my first night alone with Karl. Yes, mother instincts have certainly kicked in but the idea of having to look after him for 8 hours kind of scared me. (New) moms out there will understand what I am talking about.
What also added to the emotional rollercoaster was that I realized: “Honey, you’re not just saying goodbye to me and bump this time, you actually get to give your son a kiss before you say ‘See you later’.”
It gave me all the warm, fuzzy feels.
And here I am now…
…still somehow Julia, content creator and communications professional. This part hasn’t changed.
What has changed, however, is the way I live my creative life now - or rather approach it. Now, it involves a little one that needs mamma’s milk, diaper changes, a lot of cuddles and love around the clock.
He makes my schedule now.
Did I forget anything?
Well, every once in a while, he sleeps. They say: “Sleep when the baby sleeps”, and I mostly did the first four weeks of personal maternity leave. However, with the month of December rolling around, I have decided to continue working for my best client. I am back creating for JoinTheWorld’sBeauty and am still lovin’ my work. It’s essential for my inner balance. Also, with our new project - a Coffee Table Book - in the making, I can’t just not do anything. (I am pretty thrilled about it.)
So, whenever Karl decides to catch some Zzzzs, momma is sitting in the rocker in the nursery, one eye on her laptop, the other on little one. (But trust me, this all might sound so easy, yet, I’ve just recently had an emotional breakdown thinking I will never be able to juggle this work-baby-life, haha.)
It requires even more determination than pre-baby.
A little bundle of joy is hard work and basically a full-time job in itself. That, I / we have realized pretty quickly. He determines my schedule but I myself am determined to make it work. #workingmomlife - there is still so much to adjust to, to juggle, and it will be even more once my mom and dad fly back to Germany in a few weeks (I don’t even want to think about this now). They have been a tremendous help so far and making it easier for me to get some work hours in during the day.
Self-employment - I can only stress it, once more - is a blessing. It doesn’t mean I work less, it just means that I have the flexibility to be there for little nugget Karl when he needs some cuddles and a good feed - before he sleeps again and I can put my mind back to creating some quality content. Because, that’s also a huge part of who I am.
Being able to juggle work and baby, however, also means I am super slow in responding to messages by friends. I feel guilty, but I can only hope that they understand. Because when I am not trying to tick things off my task list (and I am working deadline oriented), Karl is needing all the attention. I, however, try to get my social life back in order, as well. And I know I will at some point down the road.
It’s a creative chaos.
Being a mother and realizing that the word “selflessness” gets a whole different meaning is wonderful. The bond you have with your child is amazing and it grows stronger every day (albeit the many challenges, but what do I know after a month of motherhood?).
I work on my son’s schedule now (not that easy, trust me, especially once I’ve put him down, opened my laptop and two minutes later, he gets fuzzy again). However, it doesn’t mean I am less creative. My mind might be a little (a lot…) more foggy these days, but with the help of a good cup of coffee and certainly a whole new perspective on life, I have found that the creativity flow is going pretty well at the moment.
I am still living the creative life, building on my self-employment base - just redefined.
(Yay me - or rather “thanks Karl”. It’s getting light outside; cannot believe little man let me finish this whole post! First achievement of the day.)
Any working moms out there: What do you find is the greatest struggle for you?